8 People to Avoid

Everyday we encounter people and while some of those people stick around for a while, the others...well let's just say that they're not around for a reason. And although that reason may not be clear at first, we soon come to realize the type of people and personalities we should surround ourselves with. Here are the worst of the toxic personalities that we should steer clear of and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. As a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Judy: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keith: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illassis: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have a few things in common.
1) The more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.
2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.
3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending much time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier.

Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

Spread Love. Live Life. Be Inspired.

♥ t i f f a n y
Proud supporter of The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
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S - T - I - N - G

It doesn't matter if you're a 12-year-old being told to clean your room - or a corporate executive that needs to write up a business proposal, we're all affected by it...procrastination. Here's a solution to this problem; turn your procrastination into action! I know what you're thinking, you've tried it all, right? Wrong! One technique that you may not have heard of is called the "STING" method. This is a fairly new method of addressing procrastination, and it's an acronym that stands for:

S - Select one task.
T - Time yourself.
I - Ignore everything else.
N - No breaks.
G - Give yourself a reward.

Select one task you've been putting off. Break it down to just one small piece if it's complicated. For instance, if the task is cleaning the kitchen, reorganizing a drawer is just one piece of the larger task. Time yourself. Use a kitchen timer so you don't have to watch the clock and give the task one full hour. Children might need to reduce that time to just 10 or 15 minutes. Ignore everything else that needs to be done. No breaks allowed!

Give yourself a small reward when the task is completed (a few minutes on Twitter, Facebook, a piece of chocolate...whatever you need).


Everyone's attention span is different, but it may be wise to I set a timer for three 30-minute increments with 5-minute breaks (depending on how much you have to do), exit out of your email and Internet explorer and go into your own personal space. The beauty of it is ... it works! I hope it works for you!

Spread Love. Live Life. Be Inspired.

♥ t i f f a n y
Proud supporter of The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
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L I F E

Spread Love. Live Life. Be Inspired.

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"All I Really Want Is To..."

Spread love.
♥ t i f f a n y

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SLAM!

As I'm sitting in my room at this very moment a thought came upon me. I started rapping in my head and at the same time I was thinking that I should write a poem. So while the creative juices are flowing I thought that it would be a cool idea for me to do some slam poetry right now! Here I go...

As I live upon the earth there seems to be so much I'm missing
The urge to get my life together becomes my first intuition
Now if I'm speaking politically do I become a politician?
And if we give to the ungrateful, do we still celebrate Thanksgiving?

We pledge allegiance to a flag
Call gay people fags
But let someone insult us, we're the epitome of mad.

I appreciate love 'cause it was something I never had
And if I could be the first, I would much rather come in last.

I don't sit in the light to "go green"
I don't scream to make a scene
But I do wear fake ice because I'm at a shortage with my cream

But it's life. The poor or middle class
Pay $40 after 12am to shake their a**
While the rich, get in free VIP look down at us and just laugh.

But it's life, and we live it
Rich or poor we live it
If we can't meet the standards of society, we create our own gimmicks.
Because it's life.

And scene! I hope you enjoy it. I'm going to leave this one untitled or let you name it.

♥ t i f f a n y ♥
Proud supporter of The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society

eyeLive it: Apples to Apples

Agree?

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MISS elleelleeye
Proud supporter of The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society

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5 Ways to Build a Wonderful Life

1. Live Below Your Means

There will always be temptation to forsake the future for immediate gratification. We all want to buy that new piece of technology, treat ourselves to an expensive night on the town, or take out a loan for the flashy car we can’t afford. It might feel great at the time but rash spending hurts a lot later on.

Enjoy life’s simple pleasures and save as much as you can. Expensive things don’t create lasting happiness and security. Careful spending will bring you greater leisure and enjoyment in the long run.

2. Put Your Money to Work

Saving is great, but to make the most of your money you need to put it to work. Good investments can be the difference between retiring in your 40’s or in your 60’s.

A post today at The Simple Dollar really got me thinking. According to Trent’s projections, if a person in their early 20’s invests 20% of their income in an S&P index fund, the interest they earn will equal their current salary when they reach their early 40’s. They could retire without a drop in income!

Wise investing is the surest path to financial independence and it’s something everyone can work on. It’s definitely an area I’ll be devoting more attention to in my personal life and on this blog.

3. Educate Yourself

To be happy we need continuous growth. The best way to grow is life long education. This doesn’t mean you need to pursue a doctorate or spend 2 hours reading every day. Self education can be anything that takes you out of your comfort zone. The important part is keeping an open mind and searching for fresh ideas and perspectives.

Education builds over time. It might feel like the bits of wisdom you acquire don’t mean much, but over the years they add up to form a wiser, kinder, more interesting person.

4. Develop Lasting Personal Relationships

Suppose you had everything you wanted. Would you be happy without anyone to share it with? The personal relationships we develop with friends and family members are the greatest source of happiness in our lives. Don’t forget about them.

Taking the time to cultivate and enjoy personal relationships is essential to long term happiness. Without the people you care about you’ll probably be miserable, no matter how successful you become.

5. Work Towards a Dream You’re Passionate About

Even if your life isn’t perfect, you can always build towards a goal you’re passionate about. If you aren’t building towards something, you’re probably stagnating. When this happens to me I start to feel like a victim trapped by my own life. The best way to reverse this is working towards a goal.

We can’t control everything about our lives, but working towards a goal gives us something positive to focus on and lays the foundation for future success. No matter what your passion is, get out there and start doing something. As Lao Tzu said, even a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.

With that said, these five things, I'm sure we would all live a fabulous life. There's so much to live for and a lot of times people miss out because they're too focused on spending their money on things they don't need instead of saving. We burn bridges over the smallest things instead of trying to make valuable relationships work out. We often do things that make other people happy instead of ourselves. Follow these things and your life will be that much closer to being wonderful!

♥ t i f f a n y ♥
MISS elleelleeye
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A Quote eyeLive By...

This is so true whether it's in reference to a bad breakup or just having family issues, if you end up being "okay", then that's how it should stay.

Do you agree?

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MISS elleelleeye
Proud supporter of The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society

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eyeLive: What Women Think of What You Do

What Women Think of What You Do

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit - demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don’t get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:

Simple Duties
You make the bed: +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows: -1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets: -1
You leave the toilet seat up: -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty: 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex: -1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom: -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings: +5
in the snow: +8
but return with beer: -5
and no liners: -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night: +2
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing: 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something: +5
You pummel it with a six iron: +10
It’s her cat: -50

At a party
You stay by her side the entire party: 0
You stay by her side for a while then go to chat with a friend from school: -2
Named Tiffany: -4
Tiffany is now a dancer: -10
With breast implants: -18

Her Birthday
You remember her birthday: 0
You buy a card and flowers: 0
You take her out to dinner: 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar: +1
It is a sports bar: -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night: -3
And your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10

A night out with the boys
You go out with a pal: 0
The pal is happily married: +1
The pal is single: -7
He drives a Ferrari: -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED): -15

A night out with her
You take her to a movie: +2
You take her to a movie she likes: +4
You take her to a movie you hate: +6
You take her to a movie you like: -2
It’s called Death Cop III: -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans: -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans: -15

Your physique
You develop a noticeable pot belly: -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it: +10
You resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts: -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.”: -800

The big question
She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding: -10
You reply, “Where?”: -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”: -100
Any other response: -20

Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression: 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes: +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience: +50
You’re mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “well, what do you think I should do?”: -100
You have fallen asleep: -200

It’s that time of the month
You talk: -100
You don’t talk: -150
You spend time with her: -200
You don’t spend time with her: -500

♥ t i f f a n y ♥
MISS elleelleeye

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eyeLive: 9 Things Women Say

9 Things Women Say

I found this on a website and thought that it was really interesting. I can't tell which point of view it's coming from, so I guess you can use your imagination. Happy reading!

#1 Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

#2 Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

#3 Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

#4 A Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No. 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

#5 That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

#6 Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’, which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ - that will bring on No. 7).

#7 Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying, “F*#% YOU!”

#8 Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to No. 4.

#9 Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “Fine”.

Women, how true are the meaning of these words...Men, do you agree?

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eyeLive: Mental Heuristics Pt. II

You may remember the last post I did about mental heuristics, but if you don't here's what a mental heuristic is. A heuristic is a "rule-of-thumb", or advice that helps a human think and act more efficiently by directing thinking in an useful direction. I thought it would be interesting to name some of these heuristics that are age-old wisdom, bordering on cliche, but most are actually helpful.

Always assume that you will succeed - If you don't expect to succeed in an endeavor, then you will not do your best and will not notice possible solutions, while if you feel that you will eventually succeed you will concentrate all your power at the problem. Of course, there is no point in attempting what you cannot do, a certain amount of self-knowledge is always needed.

Don't try to explain away your actions for yourself - While we often do things we do not want to explain our real motivations for before other people (out of fear of embarrassment, anger or loss of image), it is a bad idea to try to convince oneself that the motivation was anything different from what it was. It will only reduce your self-knowledge with deliberate misinformation, and it is often valuable to understand what motivations you have (even if you dislike them or would never admit them in public).

Do not rely on conscious decisions for speed, Just Do It - The conscious mind is surprisingly slow, conscious choices and actions are delayed for a significant time (a reflex acts within some tens of milliseconds, an unconscious reaction to external stimuli circa 100 milliseconds and a conscious choice several seconds). The duty of the conscious mind is usually to inhibit rather than start action, and if you become too conscious of what you are doing in a tense situation you will hesitate or slow down.

It is a good idea to learn to rely on your non-conscious mind, since our conscious mind is slow and has very low bandwidth while the other systems in our brains have a tremendous capacity and actually do most of the real work anyway.

For more mental heuristics click here.

♥ t i f f a n y ♥
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eyeLive: Mental Heuristics

A heuristic is a "rule-of-thumb", or advice that helps a human think and act more efficiently by directing thinking in an useful direction. I thought it would be interesting to name some of these heuristics that are age-old wisdom, bordering on cliche, but most are actually helpful.

If you want something done, do it yourself - This is so true because a lot of times I find that when you ask people to do things for you they will either do it or won't. Some people aren't always reliable and we find ourselves working that much harder to fix a mistake that they may have made or just doing it ourselves all together. However, there is a risk of becoming overworked if you try to do everything yourself - we all need other people after all

If you cannot do anything about something, there is no point in worrying about it. - Worrying is very stressful, and in most situations doesn't accomplish anything; making it just wastes energy. Instead of worrying about things, either do something about them or find ways around the problem. One useful idea is to write down your worries on slips of paper, and then put them away in a box. Regularly, once a week or so, you open the box and see what you can do about the worries that are still relevant.

Listen to your intuition, but do not believe it unconditionally - Intuitive or emotional thinking, analogies, "gut feelings" or "flashes of inspiration" can sometimes give fantastic new insights or show problems from a new direction. Unfortunately such thinking isn't always reliable, and quite often completely wrong! Such insights should never be accepted because you admire their beauty or they are intuitive, only because they fit with reality. When we're going on intutive thinking, we should stop and be realistic about the situation as well. Totally basing our feelings on one side of the scale isn't such a wise idea.

I hope these heuristics help you somewhere in life. I could use a couple of them myself. Let's try to put these tips to use people =)

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eyeLive: The Life of A Poet "Choose"

I received a comment on my last poem that inspired me to post another one. So here is, Choose. Happy reading!

If you can look me in my face and tell me you don’t feel anything
There’s no point in me wearing this promise ring
I held in my emotions even when I felt neglected
But it’s my entire fault for letting you put me second
On our first date you said I was a blessing
And it would hurt if I found that my status was lessened

But life goes on and we all learn lessons
It’s just that in my heart I though that we were destined
We both were shy but I could look into your eyes
And tell that soon enough you would let me inside
And you say you don’t regret anything we did
Even though it was unusual you know, the way we lived

I don’t want it to be you me and her
So if it was just us three on this earth
And God told you to choose, win or lose
I hope that you would look me in my eyes
Take my hand and not play me for a fool

But who is to know if you would make that decision
Since I don’t have all of your heart
Just imagine what you’re missing
If you like my kisses and hugging
And think that it’s a little more than something
Choose me and you can get all of my loving

If you had to choose between me and her
Take into account that I was here first
And I know I’m not officially your girl
But the truth is
The truth is
I’m in love with you

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eyeLive: The Life of A Poet "My Father"

Besides a Black History Month Contest in the sixth grade and my reading class sophomore year in college, I have never shared my poetry. However, today I decided that I would share a piece that I wrote entitled My Father.

My Father…

Used to be there
Isn’t there anymore
Lives down the street from me
Doesn’t pay child support
Lives with his mother
Favors my brother

Gave me half of his chromosomes and some of his genes
Wouldn’t even know if I liked vanilla or chocolate ice cream
Missed my graduation and countless May 4ths
Used to tell me he was going to work when he was really headed up north
Tells me to call if I need anything, knowing he can’t provide it
Would promise me things knowing that he couldn’t buy it
Was crazy in some eyes, sane in the view of his own
Is a man, but has not yet grown

Is someone that I do not see frequently at all, even though it’s probably not even 15 minute walk
Is someone who I probably never had longer than a 15 minute talk
Is the one who quit the play and gave the job to his understudy, my mother
Is living strong inside of my brother
Makes me sick to see that he is doing nothing positive with his life
Makes me think if my brother will be just like him
Wouldn’t care or know what to do with him if he was
Would probably feed a stranger over me
Wouldn’t even know if I was still breathing at this moment
Would not even know if I had a boyfriend
Would not know anything about me except for the information on my birth certificate if that
Is my father
Is the father of three others, of which I only know two

Is smart
Is stupid
Is my blood
Is a low-life
Is my blood
Is human

Gave me his reflection

Is not a dad, just a father.

I got an A on this poem, my professor said that it's was creative that I made it look like a tree (which I saw once she told me). I didn't realize how deep this poem was until I actually read it and the first time I did read it was when I got it back. It's crazy how you can be writing something and not realize the actual words that are coming out until you're done. But I guess that's what they call poetry.

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eyeLive: The FabOlous Life

Fabolous' album Loso's Way is set to drop July 28th and I know for a fact that it's going to be hot. Fab always drop heat and sometimes it goes unnoticed, but I feel like ever since he's signed to Def Jam he's been on his grind hard! He's done feature tracks for Jeremih, The Dream, Ne-Yo, Jaime Foxx, and so many others. In my past few music posts I have material from him that is sure to be on his album.

Fab is excited himself about the album. Here are a couple of tweets he posted via Twitter:

My album is so dope, even if u downloaded it u should realize that its such a good listen, u should definitely buy it 4 ur CD collection...

Loso's Way in stores July 28th.. The real people will support real shit...

Here are a few other tracks that will appear on his album. Happy listening!

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eyeLive: Best Paid Celebs Under 30

Who do you think made the list? No, a better question is, who do you think topped the list? Well I have the list and at number one sits the Queen! Yes, the Queen Bey, or Beyoncé. She made over $87 million dollars this year (June 2008-June 2009), which shot her way to the top of the Forbes Magazine poll, "Best Paid Celebs Under 30 List", without any stops! Beyoncé has trumped her chart rivals Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers.

The 27-year-old's fortune came from a variety of projects as a singer, actress, fashion designer and brand ambassador for the likes of cosmetic company L'Oreal and computer game giant Nintendo. She was placed far ahead of Finnish Formula 1 driver Kimi Raikkonen, 29, and 24-year-old NBA hotshot LeBron James. I'm sure Bey will make the list again with sales from the I Am...Yours tour. Here's the list of 12, which collectively comes to $410 million:

1. Beyoncé - $87 million

2. Kimi Raikkonen - $45 million

3. LeBron James - $40 million

4. Britney Spears - $35 million

5. Roger Federer- $33 million

6. Ronaldinho - $30 million

7. Miley Cyrus - $25 million

8. Jonas Brothers - $25 million

9. Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter - $25 million

10. Gisele Bundchen - $25 million

11. Maria Sharapova - $22 million

12. Taylor Swift - $18 million

Here's her latest video "Sweet Dreams" if you haven't seen it already on the site (you know LLI was one of the 1st to have it ;)

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eyeLive Life

Good morning,

I slowly came to realize that "eyeLove" and "eyeInspire", but I have failed to provide you with some "eyeLive" posts. I think that I life is such a beautiful thing and sometimes we often take it for granted. Some people live life day to day in a normal routine as if nothing can happen, some dread the days and live in misery, and other just live life to the fullest. It may be hard sometimes to live life with a smile and just appreciate it for all that it's worth, but sometimes that's the best way to live.

I sometimes look at dwell on the bad things that are going on in my life, but there are always alternatives, or things that can take your mind off of those things. Mine are talking to friends, just opening up my bible and relating the verse to what's going on in my life, or just sleeping it off. I notice that sometimes people just laugh their problems off, but like Rev Run said, "laughter is not an instant vacation". Meaning that laughter may take us to the airport, but we don't always get a chance to board the plane and escape from the rest of the world.

For the past few month, I've been very happy with my life; maybe it's because I surround myself with people that I know I can count on just in case I'm having a bad day. Remember, life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift. So make sure you enjoy the present that was given to you!

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